you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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