Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
