absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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