I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
