My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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