Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
