It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i drank out of a bidet.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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