Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
