Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
If I die, sorry about rent.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
