All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
