i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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