"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
