Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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