no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
