I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
