margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I love you.
Bad choice
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
