VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
