peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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