I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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