I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
