I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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