So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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