Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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