so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
