you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
