Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
