I feel like I'm in dance class right now
...so i touched it.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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