oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I need to stop coming to work sober
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
