so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize