Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize