Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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