THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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