Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
