I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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