yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
