I want to stick my p in your. b.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
