Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
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