farters have to be the big spoon...
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
