o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
