TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You have to summon your inner elephant
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
