bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
