I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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