YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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