There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
