Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
