the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize