That's intense
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
