We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
