My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
