Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
