Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
now i know why i became what i already was.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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