she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I could fuck to npr.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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