i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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