So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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