She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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