Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
