I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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