I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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