I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
