Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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