my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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