We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
you had me at cake vodka
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize