this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
