she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I want her autograph on my taint
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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