I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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